Lindseyville Chihuahua

Here's a little story that I thought I'd share so you all could have a laugh at my expense. Mom and Dad have enjoyed telling this on me, so I'm sure everyone will find out about it sometime or another anyway, so I might as well tell it from the first person point of view!

Now first of all, in order for you to truly appreciate this story, you must understand that I am terrified of dogs! Now there are a few dogs I like, that consist of my niece's shi-tzu Ellie, my brother-in-law's yorkie Jax, and my mamaw's schnauzer Judge. I'm very comfortable with them, and I do like other dogs, but I have to know that they aren't gonna bite me before I let my guard down. Now my mother-in-law has a dog that I pretend like I have my bluff over, but truthfully, if she ever looked at me cross-eyed, I'd probably faint dead away! (Her other two dogs are a little too spastic to concern me to any degree, but I KNOW Grace will bite, and you won't catch me turn my back to her!) We have a dog, Buster, who is a beagle. I thought when we got him, he would be a mild mannered pooch and we could all get along. Well, he's about as hyper as Jacob and I honestly can't stand a dog jumping up on me...scares me stiff!!!!!!!!! We fixed Buster a pen so he wouldn't have to be tied up, but the crazy dog kept climbing the sides and jumping out the top, so I came up with the bright idea of chaining him inside the pen. Didn't work...idiot tried to jump out while tied and would have hung himself if his collar hadn't been loose enough to slip off!! Now he is tied to his dog house in the front yard under a tree while the dog pen is growing some pretty large weeds. Oh yeah...back to my chihuahua story...

Yesterday I picked Matthew up from school and went to Mom and Dad's where Jacob was waiting. (We hadn't been over in a few days, so we were going in for a visit.) Well, I opened the door on my vehicle and got out and shut the door. When I did, I heard "rururruruururuu!!!!!!!" (For those of you who don't know, that is a high-pitched dog bark!) Land's sake, my stomach fell to my knee caps and my eyes went on the search of the barking. Looking out toward the road, I see a small blur heading in my direction, barking to beat the band the whole while!!! That little booger was running so fast, his legs were flying out to the sides. Of course all I really noticed were those little tiny razor sharp teeth that were glinting in the sunlight! My first instinct was to shout, "Get out of here!!" while kicking up one leg at the dog...but, the dog was NOT intimidated!!!!!! (Doubt I would have been either!!) Now you talk about a big girl moving...I did the Scooby-Doo run for what seemed like minutes and somehow managed to get the door open and hop inside, shutting out the little mongrel! I stupidly called Mom from my cell phone, and I was laughing by the way, and told her I was pent up in my car by a chihuahua!! Of course she came to the door laughing (a lot of good she was!) and said, "My goodness, one swift kick will send it back home!" My reply..."Yeah, if I could get my leg that high!!" Having an audience made me a bit braver, so I got out once more. Do you know that thing turned on me and started barreling at me again making that same, "rurruururuuruur" noise!!! Big momma hopped back in the car again!!!! Finally, the neighbor's dog started barking and I guess the chihuahua thought there was more of a sport in the next backyard and it headed off in that direction, letting me finally get Matthew out of the vehicle! We were about 5 steps away from the porch and Mom shouted, "There it comes!" She must not care much for her grandchild's well-being, because I about pulled Matthew's arm off trying to get to the back door!!!!!!!!!!!! That crazy woman...the dog was no where to be seen!!!

Get this, I am the same woman who is so afraid of dogs that once, when Jason and I were first married, I let a stray chow get between me and my house when I went to the mailbox. He never charged me, but when I would head toward the house, he would bark and growl. No one lived around us at the time, and I went into the vacant house's yard that was next door and hid behind a big bush for the longest time thinking the dog would leave and I could go home!!! Well, it didn't! I ended up walking all the way to some friends' house, (it was actually Heather's mom and dad's) and had Terry drive me home in her van because I knew the motor of the vehicle would scare the dog away enough that I could get in the house!! Do you know how long I carried my softball bat with me to the mailbox after that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I hope y'all had a good laugh to lighten the day a bit!!! =)